"Cut the Wires"

And so it begins:

Max Mosley, the former Formula One Boss turned privacy campaigner following a News of the Word sting, has told MPs he supports "cutting the wires" to internet sites who publish "the worst" pieces in breach of press regulation.

He was speaking alongside press regulation campaign group Hacked Off at Department of Culture, Media And Sport select committee into press regulation, 24 hours after MPs agreed a landmark Royal Charter.

 Favourite response, a tweet from Mark Wallace:

Quite quaint that Max Mosley seems to think that the internet works like a tin can telephone.

And one gloriously combative solution:

You newspapers know who the front-men are in Hacked Off and you know some of the backers. Let’s take a prominent example. Hugh Grant. Here’s what I would do right now if I were you. I’m speaking to all newspapers here. All you have to do is comply with his demand for privacy to the letter.

Delete every story in your archive that mentions his name.

Delete every photo of him in your database.

Delete every review of everything he has ever been in.

When reporting on Hacked Off in future, refer only to ‘a Mr. Grant’ and do not include a photo. Better yet, use a pixellated photo and caption it ‘blurred to respect Mr. Grant’s demand for privacy’. Even better yet, use a pixellated photo of Shrek.

Report nothing on the man in any way at all. Do not cover any films or other roles he appears in in the future. Show no pictures of him and do not mention him when reporting on any showbiz parties or awards ceremonies.

No matter how outrageously he behaves, don’t report it. Not one word. Even if he wins the Nobbly prize for unelected petty dictator of the year, don’t report a single word.
He says he wants privacy from the Press but really he wants you to report the good stuff and keep quiet about the bad stuff. Give him total privacy. Absolute and unconditional privacy. Report nothing at all about him, ever. Either you can report it all or you report nothing at all. Allow no middle ground.

That might learn his censorious, dictatorial little soul.